Men, Marriage & Sex

It is unwise to underestimate the sexual needs of men......and dangerous for a marriage to do so.

Men grow up from boys who survived all sorts of character and emotional scars.  These chinks in their armor manifest themselves in a myriad of ways as adult men......but most of them get expressed, in some way or fashion, sexually.

Every man is different, and every man's sexual expression is therefore different. 

When a woman marries a man, she also marries his dented and chinked armor inherited from his childhood.

What a man counts on in a wife is to understand and accept his sexual expressions.  He needs her compassion and understanding to soothe his frailties and heal his chinked armor. 

This is how it works: A good wife, in a giving, selfless expression of kindness, love, mercy and compassion, enthusiastically uses her charms and body to sate her man's varied desires.  She literally is his 'helper.'

A good man, moved by this selfless act of love for him - and especially when it surpasses her comfort zone -  strives to be a better man.....for her, and inspired by her love for him.  Because of his love for her, he works on his flaws and seeks to understand and heal these emotional scars through learning, introspection, prayer and sometimes therapy if needed.

This overlapping of love is the journey that builds them into a single unit.  A forged entity that can conquer the storms of life.

Many things can interrupt this cycle.

A husband who rests easy with his darker inclinations and doesn't seek to improve his moral state, is an immature man.  He takes for granted the gifts of his wife and is thus exploitative......in opposition to love and caring.

A wife who doesn't strive to meet the needs of her husband is a selfish and ultimately cruel woman.  In her rejection, she abandons her husband to walk the journey of life....and love....alone, and opens him up to moral peril. 

In this way, both have violated their marital vows to give and of love for the other.

Even despite a wife's abandonment, a good man should strive to correct his own emotional wounds.   It will take a long while,  sometimes a lifetime,  but it is a worthy pursuit.  But his heart will bear the scars of his wife's selfishness and cruelty.  Intimacy will be shattered.  By a miracle, the marriage may survive, but the husband may resent the wife the rest of their lives and their marriage will be but a shadow of what it could have been.